theonion/comcastifyjs
Sometimes images just load too damned fast. observed · 2026-08-28
Health v2 · maintenance only
10/100
- Activity 0
- Release rhythm 8
- Longevity 100
Flags: archived
How is this computed?
round(0.45*activity + 0.35*rhythm + 0.20*longevity); archived -> min(score, 10) — computed 2026-09-03. Adoption (stars, forks) is never an input.
- gap_med: n/a
- age_days: 4376
- days_rel: n/a
- days_push: 2869
- n_releases_24m: 0
Adoption not part of the score
1257 stars · 46 forks observed · 2026-08-28
What it is AI-extracted, prompt v1, taxonomy v1, 2026-08-30, confidence not recorded
ComcastifyJS is a satirical JavaScript library from The Onion that deliberately simulates slow, throttled image loading on web pages, mimicking the experience of a poor internet connection. It overlays images with a configurable box that progressively reveals them at a controlled, sluggish pace.
Use cases
- simulate slow image loading on a webpage for a joke
- demonstrate what throttled internet feels like to users
- add a satirical net-neutrality gag to a site
- progressively reveal images with an animated loading effect
- prank coworkers by making their site images load painfully slowly
When to choose
- you want a humorous, satirical slow-loading image effect on a page
- you need a demo or parody of slow internet connections
- you want a lightweight, configurable progressive image reveal gag
When to avoid
- you need actual performance optimization or fast image loading
- you need a production-ready, actively maintained library
- you need real progressive JPEG handling or genuine network throttling tools
Facets
library · maturity abandoned
image-processing animation developer-tools web-development frontend entertainment browser novelty joke-library satire progressive-image-loading the-onion javascript web
2 sources
- readme: https://github.com/theonion/comcastifyjs · fetched 2026-08-28 · 4b7844c05e98
- homepage: http://theonion.github.io/comcastifyjs/ · fetched 2026-08-29 · a5ad26838957
Member repositories
| Repository | Role | Health v2 |
|---|---|---|
| theonion/comcastifyjs | main | 10 |
For agents
markdown · JSON · MCP: product_card(name="theonion/comcastifyjs")
Data as of 2026-08-30T08:39:29.467469+00:00 · Report a problem